Do you ever feel like you’re sacrificing family time when you prioritize something for yourself?
Does it make you feel selfish? (I could be playing with my child, cooking, cleaning, or working extra, but here I am, wanting to carve out 30 minutes for myself. How awful must I be?)
I get it, I used to be in that place.
Yes, I know that the laundry isn’t going anywhere, there will always be something to clean/ tidy up in the house, something to cook, or someone/ something wanting my attention.
I was not on MY priority list.
And guess what happened? I was becoming increasingly stressed, nervous, sensitive, and tired.
In my continuous efforts to take care of the household, prepare meals, clean, run errands, attend appointments, and, above all, prioritize my daughter, I left no room for myself.
I believed that was how it was supposed to be, and most of the times I refused the help my husband was offering.
By the end of each day, I felt like I had accomplished nothing.
So the next day, I would push myself even harder, hoping to achieve more, but somehow it only made things worse.
I found myself unable to show up for my daughter in the way I had intended. My energy was drained, and my attitude became negative. I was stuck in a cycle of working harder and more, yet unable to attain the results I had in mind.
As a result, I grew increasingly frustrated and unhappy, and unfortunately, this was the version of myself my daughter encountered most often.
Instead of being the mom I had envisioned, I became the exact opposite – stressed, rigid, and burdened with guilt for both the things I did and the things I didn’t do.
That realization became my turning point.
When I finally made the decision to prioritize “ME” time, everything started to change for the better.
(My self-care revolves around working out, moving my body, walking, anything physical)
I got some time to breathe
To release the tension
And I felt so good afterward, it feels like a mini therapeutic experience
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.
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As I practiced it three things became crystal clear:
. I cannot ALWAYS be there, it’s not humanly possible. And that’s fine (big deep breath 
). What’s important is to be there when I’m truly needed.
But it’s vital to understand and accept that we can’t do it all and we can’t do it alone.
We need help, we need understanding, and we need to feel accomplished in what we do as mothers.
There was a time when my daughter needed me intensely as a baby (I remember when I was setting a timer for my showers because she would only want me, and she would cry inconsolably in her dad’s arms).
During that period, I found comfort in taking more walks with her in the pram and spending extra time outside together. The walks were my precious self-care routine.
Now that she’s attending kindergarten , she is becoming more independent, and I am not needed at every step ( that was a hard pill to swallow for me
)
We all need time for ourselves, and that’s nothing bad. It’s necessary.
It doesn’t mean running away from my family, it means that I show up better.
Taking time for myself allows me to be better equipped to handle any situation, whether it’s a joyful or challenging one.
By prioritizing self-care, I have noticed significant improvements within myself- I’ve become more patient, calm, present, and less reactive in my interactions.
So when my daughter is having a meltdown I am able to be her safety net and respond with compassion.
When my husband and I have an argument, I am doing so much better at communicating and listening than I did before.
Quality is better than quantity
When it comes to spending time with my daughter, I strive to be fully present and engaged in the moment.
There is an incomparable difference between spending 30 minutes of truly focused quality time with my daughter, where she gets my undivided attention vs. being physically present for two hours but mentally distracted and disengaged.
.
.
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My life now is so different from how it was when she was a baby. During those early days, she was constantly by my side, and I had very little time for myself. So I had to start small with 5-10 min. And be consistent with it.
This practice proved invaluable as I returned to work after maternity leave
…and when that didn’t work out as planned.
…and when I pursued my fitness certifications.
…and especially when I embarked on my journey as an entrepreneur
The specifics of my self-care routine may vary, but it remains a constant presence in my life because without it, I would fall apart.
The most beautiful thing is that my daughter appreciates me more when I prioritize self-care. She recognizes the positive impact it has on me—I’m happier, lighter, and I smile more
My mind is no longer overwhelmed by constant thoughts and worries. Surprisingly, she doesn’t perceive it as selfishness, as I initially feared. In fact, she even joins me on occasion when she’s in the mood!
With that being said, it’s still a process for me.
It’s not perfect, I make mistakes but I now see them as lessons to learn from. And I do better next time. That’s all we can do, really: do our best.
I share this with the hope of inspiring you to incorporate a self-care routine into your own life.
It’s all too easy to forget about yourself while tending to the needs of others, but remember that taking care of yourself ultimately allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for those you love.
In case you need the reminder, YOU are one of those people who need your love and attention too
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